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by ColoradoCoach.
Failure: Dealing with failure is a key leadership skill. A leader needs to develop a good sense of recognizing failure and turning it into a learning experience. Failure does not have to be a big deal, but most people’s natural tendencies are the opposite of what needs to happen in order to turn a failure into a learning experience and not a confidence breaker. Too often those in leadership make failure too personal and try to cover up those failings. The road to success is paved with stones of failure. The two truly go hand in hand.
In racquetball I often state that winning is great but it does very little to improving my game.
Losing on the other hand exposes many opportunities for improvement. The overwhelming feedback that winning provides is that I am better than the other person. My evaluation usually stops there. Losing causes me to examine so much more. What did I do well? What did I do horrible? What can I do next time to improve. what were the weaknesses in their game that I can better exploit next game. Losing creates a new passion inside me to succeed next game.
The fear of failure is ingrained in us at an early age. We become afraid of the potential negative instead of the reward of the potential gain. On a walk yesterday with my 4 year old I observed this practice. He was walking along a ledge that was beside the sidewalk. There was a step up in the ledge, about 4 inches. The ledge was now about 4 feet from the sidewalk (on the other side was rocks and they were about two feet down. My son froze. All he could see was the four feet he would fall. When I asked him about this, he said he was afraid of falling. When I asked him why he wasn’t afraid of falling before the step up, he replied ” I just wasn’t thinking about falling then.”
How often does this play a role in your life? How often, after a little change or variation in your plan, do you only see the possible negative outcome? How does this affect your results?
This is why it is critical that you understand that only through failure, will you find success. The faster you experience failure, the faster you will discover the lessons for success. Leadership expert Robin Sharma shares that “the more you go to your limits, the more your limits will expand…The fears you don’t face become your walls.” In his book the Leader Who Had No Title one of the main characters, a ski instructor, points out that “tough runs build better skiers.”
Why does understanding this principle help to overcome the fear of failure? Basically, there is a shift in perception on the value of failure. Stop associating failure with no value or negative value. Create the paradigm shift that failure is a benefit, that it is the accelerant so that you can succeed faster. By changing this value the fear of failure is reduced. The power is placed on the correct purpose.
Posted in Failing, Personal Development, business, success, habits, goal setting, Coaching, mindset | Print | No Comments »
by ColoradoCoach.
Posted in Kids, power of the mind, mindset, positive thinking | Print | 1 Comment »
by ColoradoCoach.
Posted in Kids, Communication, positive talk, mindset | Print | No Comments »
by ColoradoCoach.
I speak frequently about awareness of knowing where you are right now. As a coach I am frequently asked to help people get where they want to go. I often say coaching is a lot like a good map or a GPS. It can show the route, but you must do the work to get there.
If you have ever used google maps for directions you know it asks 2 questions, start address and ending destination. If you called me on the phone for directions, the first thing I would ask you is where are you at now? So I ask you “Where are you now?”
Take an inventory of where you are at now? What resources are at your disposal? Are you aimed in the right direction at your goals? Do you know the direction of your goals? What are your beliefs? What are you telling yourself? WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?
Last week there seemed to be a theme in much of my interactions with people about another big question. This came up in a leads group I attend and it is a big coaching question, “What do you want?” Now this question must be put into situational perspective and it must be applied with, intensity and sincerity. We often think we know what we want, like money, but the truth is we want the money to buy the thing we really want–a new car, a bigger house, a maid, a boat. So I ask you what do you want? Stop and think for a minute. What lies in your deepest desires? What do you seek? Wisdom? Freedom? Clarity? A worry free life? A vacation? WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?
The answer to the previous question will help establish the ending destination I spoke of earlier. That question will define the goals you are chasing, the port that your ship is aimed at. “It is not the going out of port, but the coming in, that determines the success of a voyage.” ~Henry Ward Beecher.
The final big question is an internal measurement, an internal compass that will let you know as you get closer to your port. How will you know when you’ve got it? Often people reach a goal they put down on the paper, but they feel no satisfaction from achieving it. Usually these individuals did not put down what they really wanted and they didn’t take an accurate measurement of how they will know when they got it. Sometimes it is easy, we want a car. Say you want an Escalade. You want it because of how it makes you feel, the way it drives, and it’s safety record. How will you know when you’ve got it? You will be driving the Escalade, feeling safe and confident. Other times you will need to define the measurement a little better, because the payoff isn’t quite as cut and dry. For example, I want organization in my life and in my home. How will I know when I have it? This gets a little tougher.
This question is designed to help create SMART goals and to help us associate the emotions related to our desires and goals. When we use emotion on our side it is a powerful ally. Emotion creates inspiration, drive and purpose to our actions. HOW WILL YOU KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE GOT IT?
WARNING: Use these question with caution, they may cause uncontrolled goal setting and lead to success in you life. If used on a daily basis, these questions can lead to positive habit development and positive lifestyle choices. If you become addicted to these questions please consult a professional immediately. Not intended for children under 3 years of age, let them enjoy their innocence.
Posted in success, Coaching, goal setting, mindset, perspective | Print | 2 Comments »
by ColoradoCoach.
It was widely believed that no human being could run the mile in less than four minutes. The best time was 4 minutes, 1.4 seconds, set in 1945. The record stood strong for several years, and both medical exerts and athletes were unanimous in the view that the four minute barrier could not be broken. “Not possible”, they said. In fact, it was believed that the 4 minute mile was physically impossible, that it could not be beaten without causing significant physical damage to the athlete’s body. And this was commonly accepted as fact.
Then, on 6th May 1954, Roger Bannister did the impossible. At a windy athletic meet in London, England, Roger ran the mile in 3 minutes 59.4 seconds, shattering the four minute barrier. John Landy - Roger’s rival and an accomplished runner - had until then a personal best time of 4 minutes 1.5 seconds. In fact, after running a mile in under 4 minutes and 2 seconds three times, John said that the four minute barrier was “like a wall”. Amazingly 56 days after Bannister conquered the four-minute-mile barrier, John Landy, broke Bannister’s record and ran the mile in 3 minutes 57.9 seconds.
So what happened? Did the human body suddenly get stronger? Was it new technology improving running shoes? Did Bannister have a special training method? None of these really. The reality was… The four minute mile was a psychological barrier more than anything else!
To further prove the point, by the end of 1957, sixteen other runners had run the mile in less than four minutes. What Roger did was prove that the barrier or “wall” was not a physiological one, It was just a mental one. What Roger Bannister did on that windy day was not merely set a new world record; oh no, it was much more historically important than that. He demonstrated that overcoming mental barriers is the key to delivering breakthrough and historical personal performances–performances that affect more than just ourselves. Through overcoming our own limitations we empower others toward success.
The power of your mind is incredible. Your “limiting beliefs” or “mental barriers” are profoundly more powerful than physical or accepted facts. You see the mind cannot distinguish between imagined and real. We all have our beliefs about what we can achieve - and what we can’t. And our success is limited by those barriers. Even our effort is often restricted by those barriers. We don’t try - because we see those barriers. To our mind it is like driving towards a road closed sign. It already is making other plans, devising another route.
What are you thinking about? What is holding you back? Change your thinking to change your results. What mindsets do you have that are getting in your way? What self limiting beliefs have you accepted as fact, physically impossible?
What is your “Four Minute Mile Barrier”?
Opportunity! Probe the limiting beliefs, mental barriers (like the 4 minute mile), or negative attitudes that you are keeping in your mind. Awareness is the first step to shattering that barrier.
· Write them down.
· Change the “I can’t” to “I will”.
· Stop thinking impossibilities and Start believing in possibilities
· Decide to break through your mental barriers.
The choice is yours. Make the decision and take the action!
Posted in How do you know what you know, positve thinking, power of the mind, mindset, limiting beliefs, perspective | Print | 1 Comment »